Between Supermodel and Bride of Frankenstein (Mommy Style Part 2)


Almost every mom falls into this trap. The gray sweat suit is warm and comfortable, and no one really cares if the baby spits up on it because the color blends well. Have you substituted your lingerie for a Squirrel Suit?  There is only one way to break this habit.  Imagine that one of those extreme makeover shows will show up at your door that day.  Do you want millions of viewers to see you wearing that?  If it is comfort you desire, there are many attractive workout outfits that don’t resemble a rodent. 


Bathrobes should be worn first thing in the morning only. This may come as a shock, but most bathrobes are not sexy.  Consider the fact that robes are worn by priests, grandmothers, and boxers.  There are some silk robes that are lovely, but most moms would never wear silk around a baby. Here are some things to check for with your robe.  Is it fuzzy?  Grover and Elmo are cute, but not sexy.  Is it tattered and worn?  You are trying to attract your man, not scare him into thinking you were in an accident.  Is it something your grandmother would wear?  Give it to her! 


Even though you are tired, you still need to pay attention to the appearance of the hair on your head, eyebrows, and legs.  Check for these clues: Has a mother bird ever chosen your head as the site for her new nest?  Have insects ever selected your uni-brow as an emergency runway?  Have your bare legs ever punctured a hole in a balloon?  These are all questions to consider when making grooming decisions. 

Babies love to grab hair.  To avoid this unpleasantness, many moms cut off their long locks.  Many short haircuts are attractive, but some men prefer long hair.  Go ahead and ask your man.  If he likes it long, don’t keep it short for yourself.  At the end of the day, he’s the one who needs to be attracted to you.  If he says he likes it however YOU like it, he has equated the question with “Does this outfit make me look fat?”   


Go ahead and skip the makeup if you want to guarantee that someone will come to the door.  Even though you might not have time for an elaborate makeup routine anymore, your number one friend is concealer.  If you hide the dark rings under your eyes and dab on some mascara and lip gloss, it will make a world of difference.   You don’t always have to look like a model, but you also don’t have to give the UPS guy a coronary.  Aim for something in between supermodel and Bride of Frankenstein. 


Imagine a marketing meeting at a major air freshener manufacturer.  When trying to think of pleasing scents to sell, they aim for smells such as Ocean Breeze, Lilacs and Lavender, and Mountain Spring. What would be some guaranteed rejected scents?  Leaking Diaper, Mashed Peas and Squash, and Blown Chunks.  Being a mom literally requires getting down and dirty.  And let’s not forget smelly.  Be prepared to change your clothes many times a day.

 A lot of moms think they can cover these scents by loading on the perfume.  If you pour a bottle of perfume into your garbage can, your trash will just smell like it is all dressed up to go out for a fancy dinner.  Many ordinary household items can eliminate baby odors on your body, including olive oil, lemon juice, baking soda, and toothpaste . Lotions can also help, but just remember that less is more.  Heavy scents can bother a baby’s sensitive nose, not to mention the people standing behind you at the check-out.  Hand sanitizer has a potent smell, but it is effective for discovering paper cuts.




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