Get Your Head Out of the Blender! (Names Have Meanings)

One of the first decisions you have to make after your baby is born is choosing a name.  Many parents take this decision too lightly without realizing the impact on their child’s future happiness.  Do you want your child’s name to sound like you opened a phone book, pointed with your eyes closed, and accidentally ended up in the Yellow Pages?

Anyone can choose a name because they like it.  Just don’t be fooled into thinking it’s a great choice because of other people’s reactions.   When you announce the baby’s name, people are going to be supportive.  You just had a baby, and they don’t want to hurt your feelings.  You have to learn to read through The Code.  What they say versus what they mean.


  • ·         How did you come up with THAT name?  (=Were you on crack at the   time?)
  • ·         Is that a family name? (=Does your family come from Mars?)
  • ·         Wow.  What an unusual name. (=Did you fall and hit your head?)
  • ·         Oh, how nice. (=I know the number for the Child Abuse Hotline.)

There is really only one response that guarantees success:

  • ·         That’s MY baby’s name!  I love it! (=Great minds think alike!)    


Sitting Bull.  Crazy Horse.  Dances with Wolves.  If you consider the Native American custom of bestowing names according to character traits, the possibilities for baby names are endless. Stinking Diaper.  Sleeps Through The Night.  He Who Hates Peas. Poops A Lot.  At least the name would have meaning. Sometimes you might have a friend who gives birth and announces her baby’s unusual but melodic name.  Try asking, “What does the name mean?” Chances are she will look at you incredulously and respond, “Who cares?” 

Most students zone out during Shakespeare lessons in school because, quite frankly, they’d rather stick their head in a blender than try to understand words like thither and poniard.  In the second act of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, the answer to Juliet’s question, “What’s in a name?” is: EVERYTHING!  Names have meanings, and even if a parent doesn’t care, the child will eventually discover that his name means “smelly hair” in Italian.  What will this do to his self-esteem?  It definitely will not make his Top Ten Ego-Boosters List. 

As a self-fulfilled prophecy, a child can try to live up to the meaning of his name.  As soon as they are old enough to understand, explain to your children the meanings of their names.  If you picked good names, you can only hope that they do try to live up to them.  If your child’s name means “bottom-dweller,” he may grow to resent you later in life, so change your alarm code now.



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