Navy Seal Mommy

Snaps are the bane of a mother’s existence.  I would like to meet the inventor, just so I can lock him in a onesie and watch him try to escape.  The madness begins with changing and dressing a screaming baby at 2 a.m. while everyone else is trying to sleep.  You try to move quickly, but the outfit has lots of tiny SNAPS that only a flea could possibly close with ease.  Finally, the last snap is next, but wait – they don’t match up!  You Do a Magoo,where temporary blindness from sleep deprivation causes you to misalign the snaps, and it’s time to start all over again.  Breathe deeply and try not to cry louder than your baby.

When shopping for baby outfits, look for clothes that will be easy to get on and off quickly in dim lighting.  The best ones are simple with one zipper down the center.  Also look for a flexible head hole that will open easily and not upset your baby when he gets stuck in it.  Trust me; one of my sons had a head larger than Jupiter, and I spent many nights trying to perform impromptu noggin surgery to extract his head from an impossibly small hole. 

County fairs often have contests where people can try the seemingly impossible act of catching a wild and slippery pig.  This might be a good place to hone skills needed for dressing a baby who has become mobile.  If your child is particularly mischievous, you may need to gently pin down his legs with your knees while you dress him.  Use whatever other body parts are necessary to achieve success.

When changing a diaper on a baby, just remember one simple formula:  Delay Equals Spray.  Do it fast and get out.  Pretend you’re a Navy Seal if it helps. There is no time to analyze the job, because he who hesitates gets wet!  Babies do not know enough to wait until you cover them before they can release.  In fact, exposing a baby to cold air by removing a diaper often quickens the need to go.  Boys are more difficult in this situation, mostly because they have a built-in faucet aimed at your head. 

When babies are being changed, never leave them unattended on a changing table or bed.  Even if you think it is safe because they don’t know how to roll over yet, there is a first day for every milestone.  Sometimes newborns roll over accidentally.  Keep all changing supplies out of reach, because a baby will instinctively sense your weakness and one day be able to grab the diaper cream, powder, or wipes. 

Diaper rash may occur if your baby stays in a wet or dirty diaper for too long.  When this happens, use wet paper towels instead of baby wipes, which contain alcohol and will sting on a wound.  Soak your baby in a bath of baking soda and warm water.  Once the irritated area is dry, generously lather the irritated area with all-natural diaper rash cream and fill the diaper with absorbent cornstarch baby powder.  Increase the frequency of diaper changing to help heal the rash quickly.

Diaper changing does not have to be an unpleasant job.  Try to utilize the time as special one-on-one moments with each child.  Once they are old enough, you can have them hold a book or toy to distract them during the diaper change.  Until then, you can sing silly songs, invent fun tickling games, and test your creative abilities to make your child laugh.  Even a Navy Seal has to have fun sometimes. 

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